Got Jokes?

Do any peoples have funny jokes????? Well, if you do, leave them in a comment with your name and I’ll post it! Thanks!

The Apple Joke

Heres the Apple joke that I made up:

 

Kid- I”m going to show you something NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD HAS SEEN!

Friend- did YOU ever see it?

Kid- no

Friend- Show me! Show me!

Kid- Ok ( brings out an apple and a knife )

Friend- what cha’ going to do?

Kid- watch ( cuts the Apple open )  Ta da!

Friend- I’ve seen the insides of Apples before!

Kid- but I bet that you have NEVER seen the inside of THIS apple before!

Friend- I want a refund!

Kid- you didn’t pay anything!

Friend- Oh yeah. That was SUCH a waste of my time ( leaves the house )

Kid- he is SO gullable! ( holds up $20 in front of his face )

 

 

 

I hope people in life aren’t THAT gullable!

 

 

The German Guy

Here’s a long joke:There was once a guy from Germany who knew no English. He decides to go to the U.S.A. And so, this is his story translated.

The german guy was walking around and went to an Opera.(free of charge!!) And hears a opera singer singing “Mi mi mi mi!” So he, of course, learns ‘Mi mi mi mi’.

He gets a complimentary dinner.  While he was waiting for food, he hears a kid saying ” Forks and Knives, Forks and knives, Forks and knives”. So then he learns ‘forks and knives, forks and knives, forks and knives’.

He goes into a candy store and hears a kid saying “Good Golly Gumdrops, Good golly gumdrops, good golly gumdrops!” And he now learned that.

The guy goes to a mall and their is a guy dying on the floor. The police asks ‘who did this’.

German guy: “Mi mi mi mi!!!”

Police: “how’d you kill him?!?!”

Geman guy: “forks and knives, forks and knives, forks and knives!”

Police: “You’re going to jail sir!!”

German guy: “good golly gumdrops, Good golly gumdrops, good golly gumdrops!”

The Smart guy

 Here’s a joke hopefully most of you get:

Seller: this vacuum cuts your cleaning in half!!!

smart guy: Great! I’ll take two.